Life would have been just so easier if we all were amoebae. The way I see it, every wiseman's book recommends the amoeboid life...
Take a look at the Bible...which strongly commends the non-dispersion of knowledge (the story of the partake of the apple by Eve from the Tree of Knowledge). Consider what a wonderful philosophy this is. This way no one would have enough knowledge, and enough thoughts to make a thought. Therefore, no one would be befuddled by the huge wide universe, and crack their heads in frustration. This is perhaps how the amoeba experiences his life.
Take a look at the Bible...which strongly commends the non-dispersion of knowledge (the story of the partake of the apple by Eve from the Tree of Knowledge). Consider what a wonderful philosophy this is. This way no one would have enough knowledge, and enough thoughts to make a thought. Therefore, no one would be befuddled by the huge wide universe, and crack their heads in frustration. This is perhaps how the amoeba experiences his life.
There would just be so much less to think about and give one a headache.
Also, a complete absence of sex, and related sexual politics. Would just make life so much cleaner and much more easier...Jusy binary fission yourself. And who says survival would be difficult because it will hinder evolution? Amoebae predate humans by millions of years...Surely that is some solid defence! And the most amazing thing about being an amoeba? You can change your shape entirely! It's like the ultimate camouflage!
So go and be an amoeba today!
STEPS TO FOLLOW:
1. Reduce yourself to a single cell
This obviously needs a lot of thinning down. A lot, believe me! So the anorexics are totally moving in the right direction.
2. Turn cannibal
Amoebae eat their own species, so you need to turn cannibal. Seek professional help for this. Ask Moninder Singh Pandher and Surinder Koli.
3. Start fissioning binarily
Humankind has studied amoebae for hundreds of years only to learn how this is done in detail. Here's is a pictorial flowchart about how to achieve this.
1. Stop moving and round off. 2. Begin to divide your nucleus 3. Once the nucleus division is complete, constrict your cytoplasm 4.& 5. Keep on with the constriction and let it divide your cytoplasm 6. Get your daughter amoeba and let her separate.
The process is thus completed. Congratulations! You are now a fully certified amoeba.
7 comments:
hehe.....n like an amoeba takes everything in its grasp with the pseudopodia....it isnt so difficult for covetous humans to grab everything in their way, one of their pre-existing qualifications to be an amoeba.....:P
Hmm...food for thought. :|
being an amoeba is certainly bettr than studyng bout thm..
that would lead to population explosion..
hah, don't think that would matter too much...earth's got enough resources for the amoebae. :)
okay...nw u got me all excited.
but ur first step ...need i say more? aah..amoeba
lol, the transition may be a bit tough...but think of the bliss attained once you are through it! :D
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